I am in HUGE fan of Vanity Fair!

Now, this is more like it. This is what you call a sattire. I see the humor in this!

I Miss My Nana

When I was little, I used to spend my summers with my Nana. I adored her, she was one the coolest people in the world. During the summers that I used to spend with her, we would play cards, go shopping, go to bbqs, and just hang out. I admired her. She was strong and courageous. She got pregnant was she was 15 and had my mom when she was 16. She did not finish school, but as a senior citizen she did attempt to get her GED. She was smart. She used to do these crossword puzzles that came in the newspaper, I could hardly find the answers to two or three of the clues. She spoke (and still does speak) proper english and often corrected me on my grammar. I could often come to her to discuss issues that I know my mother would gasp about. For example, when my mom found out I had lost my virginity her whole world fell apart. I felt so bad and I called my Nana to talk about it. What was my Nana's reaction? She asked me whether or not I enjoyed it. That totally caught me off guard, but it showed me that although my mother tried fill in the pieces and raise me differently than she had been raised, she had forgotten some intricate parts.

I speak of my Nana as if she isn't here. And, I know that is wrong. It is just easier for me to remember who she was, who I admired, who I adored. It is too hard for me to accept the woman she has become today. It is too heartbreaking. I don't even like to call to talk to her any more.

My Nana has became an alcoholic. She is an alcoholic. Not to provide her with an excuse, but to give all of the material facts...she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia some years ago. I am not sure if you are familiar with this disease, but it is extremely painful and there is no cure. She describes it as someone continuously stabbing her all over her body with knives. So, to compensate for the pain she turned to alcohol. And, alcohol has taken over her life. The alcohol has changed her personality, drastically aged her, deteriorated her physical health, and emotionally scarred her family.

I absolutely despise it. Yet, I am susceptible to having a drink every now and then. But, I don't let it consume me. I don't understand why she has consumed her. She had a brother die from addiction to drugs and alcohol. She has an alcoholic sister that she had to endure and cover for during her episodes. Now, that sister looks 20 years older than her older siblings and she wears depends. But, all of this doesn't stop my Nana.

She cries out that she needs me and she wants help. She has gone up to the alter and asked God to remove the taste from her. I shed tears from joy that I might have my Nana back. Then, two days later she is at the bottle again. My mom, uncle, and aunt have tried to get her assistance, but nothing sticks. She is a drunk. She is not the Nana I used to know. She is Edith. I hate that she has done this to herself. I absolutely hate it. I have seen her fall, yell in a drunken stupor, urine on herself, unable to walk unassisted, etc. She came to my wedding with a extremely swollen black eye that she got from falling in one of her drunken stupors. She had to take pictures and spend the whole day with sunglasses on.

So, my dilemma. I need to grow up and accept the current situation. I need to call her, but I just can't bring myself to do it. She was drunk the last time I spoke to her and it was 12:15 p.m. (just a little after noon). I just can't bring myself to pick up the phone and hear her slur her words on the other end. That would anger me and break my heart once again.

The Walk of Shame

I have had an interesting morning and I just had to share. My co-worker came by my office to tell me about a group of us going to lunch. I told him that I needed to know whether or not they were walking so that I can decide to go. I did not want to walk because I was wearing heels and the only other pair of shoes that I had in the office were black, and that would not match my outfit. As I proceeded to show my co-worker my brown heels, I then realized that messing up my outfit with black shoes was the least of my problems. I had inadvertantly put on two different pair of shoes this morning - a brown open toe and a black open toe. And, the shoes were not the same style.

So, this is my shame for today...Both pairs of shoes were by the door as I was rushing out this morning. The possibility of mixing up the shoes briefly crossed my mind, but I figured that my feet would be able to tell the difference. So, I decided to forego taking the time to glance down at my feet. I can't even use pregnancy as an excuse anymore...

The world that we live in...

In His Word, God says that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever more. So, I do not understand why people get offended when others disagree with choices they have made in their life because it is not according to the Bible. Yes, it is your choice and God gave us the freedom to make said choice. But, that does not mean that it is the right choice.



I know that I have made certain choices and done certain things that are not in line with God's word. However, I have never tried to change the Bible or interpret it in a way to make what I am doing right when it is actually wrong. I have never and will never reject someone for the choices that they have made. I will love them all the same. But, don't try to make you are doing right if it is actually wrong.



This world is different from the world that I grew up in. There have been some good changes and strides have been made, e.g. Obama is running for President. However, there are some changes that make me cringe when I think what my daughter has to encounter as she grows up. It is going to be more difficult to instill in her what was basic knowledge to me when I was young. God said that if you raise up a child in the way of the Lord when he is young, he will not depart from it. My parents did this to the extreme. Although, I am not living my life 100% the way I am suppose to be according to the Bible, I cannot dismiss the Word of God that has been instilled in me. It is there. It is permanent. It is my guide on how to live in the world that we now live in.

Shemar

I remember the day as if it were yesterday. I received a call from my hubby at work. I could hear the excitement in his voice as he informed me that Shemar Moore had been spotted on a gay nude beach naked. Naked, I say, NAKED! I quickly gathered my thoughts together and researched the information on several different resources. The results were uncanning, the pretend love of my life, the man whom I had been obsessed with for years might be...

People had told me that they suspected this for years. Many were not surprised by the news. But, I guess I have a blind eye when it comes to fineness.


Nonetheless, on that blasphemous day, I immediately filed my dissolution of marriage papers to permanently separate myself from my pretend husband.

My baby can talk

Okay, this is a proud mommy post. My baby can say, "bye." She left a message for my mom and she said it. Then, she continued to say it on the way to the sitter's this morning.

But, of course she wanted to show me up when we got there. I gave her to the sitter and said, "Say bye to mommy baby girl."

Sweet Pea smiled and was mum.

I said, "Say bye to mommy baby girl."

Sweet Pea smiled and thought, "She must think I am her play toy, I am not saying ishh..." So, I gathered my things and left after being showed up by my Sweat Pea.

Six Random Things

The rules are as follows:

* link to the person that tagged you : Pretty Primadonna
* post the rules on your blog
* share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
* tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
* let each random person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

Six random things about myself... besides the fact that I'm just a really random person in general? Okay, here goes:

1. I don't know my left from my right. Seriously, I have had this problem since I was little and after numerous years of schooling and obtaining a law degree, the problem still has not be resolved. I can differentiate between the two if I make an "L" with my left hand. But, otherwise, it is the luck of the draw. This became an issue a few weeks ago when I was trying to give my hubby directions and I told him to turn right as I was pointing left. I even had the nerve to get upset with him for going the wrong way.

2. I hate cartoons and animation. My cousins used to pick on me and say that I didn't have any imagination. But, I enjoy realistic stuff with real people.

3. I have a weird obsession with Gilmore Girls. The fact that it went off the air with very little notice still upsets me to this day. I mean, I did give them an hour of my life every Tuesday for seven years. But, I am dealing with this obsession better and better each day. My hubby bought my the entire series for Christmas. He was disappointed that I wasn't more excited about the gift. I tried to explain to him that I currently have a love/hate relationship with them now, but he didn't get it.

4. I have the tendency to talk to myself. Not just to remind myself of things. But, I pretend that a certain conversation is going to happen with another person, then I act it out as if it were really happening. In this "theatric," I play myself, of course. When I am alone, my acting skills are the best. I have the hand motions, face expression, and everything. It often looks like I am talking to an imaginary person. This "theatric" sometimes inadvertently takes place in odd places, such as work.

5. I like for the toilet paper to roll over from the top and not from the bottom. If it is not done in the proper way, I will immediate change it.

6. I only take showers with dry shower caps. Wet shower caps feel icky.

That's all for now, I don't have anyone I want to tag. Maybe later....

I'm in love with a.....my Hubby?!?!

So, I think I love my husband. No, I really think I do! I often get caught up with the stress and intensity of life that I forget this. I admit, I sometimes forget why I fell in love with my husband. No matter what time of the day, how tense I feel, or how angry I get, I have always known that I loved my husband. But, I have often forgotten why.




My hubby is special. He is not the ordinary human being. He is different, difficult, and stubborn; and he makes no apologies about it. I love this about him. These characteristic of his can often times come off rude and odd. Although, these characteristics have its downsides, they also have their benefits. I hate fake people and people who put up a front.

Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of The Five Love Languages, states that there are five love languages: (1) Words of Affirmation; (2) Quality Time; (3) Receiving Gifts; (4) Acts of Service; and (5) Physical Touch.

My hubby loyal and protective. He is an awesome father and husband. I am learning how to speak his love language. The more I learn about him, the more I understand why my love language is physical touch and words of affirmation and his is acts of service and receiving gifts.

Balance

I am amazed by a friend of mine who able to maintain being a mother, wife, and attorney with ease. She makes everything seem so easy. She is an excellent attorney and extremely involved in the extracurricular activities of her children. Every time that I complain about not being able to get to work on time, I feel guilty. She makes it to work with ease. And, she has 7 kids, to my one baby. I shall not complain.

Who put me in charge? And, why?

This motherhood thing fathoms me. I thought that I would have the hang of it after 8.5 months. But, I still feel as if I am a newbie. At times, it is so overwhelming. I am responsible for this new little life. I am suppose to make decisions for this new baby who continuously looks at me with awe and amazement, like I am the best person in the world. I can tell from her looks that she completely trusts me. But, am I trustworthy?


I love my Sweet Pea so much. She means the world to me. My biggest fear is making the wrong decision and ruining her perfect little world. I don't know how she got this way, but she is the happiest little baby. It has become difficult to fight with my husband in front of her. Unfortunately, it is not because we don't want to yell and scream in front of her. Whenever we fight, or I scream at my hubby, my Sweet Pea looks at me and smiles at me like I just I am performing the best comedy scene. Weird, I know. After seeing her beautiful smile, all I can do is smile back and apologize for my bad behavior.


*Clearing throat*...I'm sorry for the tangent... back to the decisionmaking process...


I have came to the conclusion that I am afraid of change. This fear has made me hesitant to change any of the common routines in my Sweet Pea's life. Currently, we have to decide whether or not to take my Sweet Pea out of the home daycare she has been in since she was 2.5 months and put her in a daycare center. I planned on using her as excuse by saying that she would be too afraid because she didn't know anyone at the daycare and that she would miss her normal sitter. But, my child is a social butterfly. When we took her to visit the daycare, she acted like she had been there for months. She played with all the toys, let the teachers hold her, and squealed with excitement. Actually, she was the loudest baby there. She made one of the babies cry, she was so loud (personally, I think that baby should "man up"). The daycare has so much to offer - they sing, read books, go outside, have field days, and art projects.

What to do? What to do?

Proud Wife

My hubby graduated this past weekend with a TWO masters. I am so proud of him. I am so proud of us.

It is weird. Although, I didn't do any of the work to obtain these two master's degrees. I feel like I have graduated myself. I was so excited about the graduation, I could not focus on work. I was actually giddy! I am now the proud wife of a husband who has a dual Master's Degree in Public Administration and Urban Regional Planning.

Please don't ask me what this means because I don't know. But, I can make something up for you. ;-)

I have a "FAN"

I think that I am my baby girl's favorite person. Please don't tell my hubby, I think he will get jealous. I think he knows it, but he is in denial. He believes she favors me just because I provide her with milk.

Anywho, here is my proof that I have a fan, not a fan club, just the best fan in the world.

1. Whenever I walk into a room, she gets this huge smile on her face and speed crawls to me (too cute!). Then, pulls on me to pick her up.

2. She will whimper when I walk by her and not pick her up.

3. She gives me kisses.

4. She gives me hugs.

5. She kicks and screams in excitement when she sees me. (This is the cutest little thing).

6. She prefers me over her daddy. Seriously, hubby has tried to pick her up and soothe her, but she just reaches her arms out for her mommy.

I never knew how awesome it would be to have my 'Sweet Pea.' She is the cutest baby in the world. Her mannerisms are the best. She clasps her hands together she is sleepy. She kicks her legs and hands when she gets excited. She screams in delight whenever she is happy. She dances and screams whenever I sing "our song"...of course hubby says she only does this because I have brainwashed her, LOL!

I am truly blessed to have such a happy baby. Although, I know she is my biggest fan, she is the joy of both me and my husband's life. So, shout out to my "Sweet Pea."